Alfa Romeo – the High-Maintenance Lover

It was Jeremy Clarkson who said: “If I can liken the whole global car industry to the human body, Toyota is the brain, Aston Martin is the face, Cadillac is the stomach and Alfa Romeo is the heart and soul.”

I’m not sure I’d actually agree with him on the first three, especially as his nomination for the brain seems to be suffering some form of dementia at the moment as regards its quality control, but as for the heart and soul, I think he’s spot on.

Only Ferrari comes close to inspiring the sort of passion that Alfa Romeo does in car enthusiasts, and even then it’s a different sort of passion. It’s the sort of emotion you feel for a lover you have become besotted with but who is always letting you down. You only have to gaze at them to go weak at the knees, and then they turn up an hour late for a date and spend the evening flirting with someone else. But you still keep coming back, because you can’t help it.

And then eventually, your heart broken, you settle down with someone who’s wearing a sensible cardigan, but you always remember that lost love…

Owning an Alfa can be a bit like that, or so I’m told. I’ve never been bold enough.

A friend of mine, who is bold, has owned Alfas in the past and has push-started them, jump-started them, watched smoke pouring out of them, had handles fall off, glued them back together and, as any Alfa owner of the past will identify with, watched them rust. She was nearly tempted to buy an Alfa Spyder, because of its massive appeal on the eye, but decided to settle for a Honda S2000 instead. Quite how that fits into my ‘lover’ analogy I’m not sure, so I’ll leave it for the moment.

Why am I telling you all this? Because Alfa Romeo is celebrating its centenary this year and the company marked the occasion by unveiling its latest model – the five-door hatchback Giulietta – at the recent Geneva Motor Show.

The Italian marquee, which was founded in Milan in 1910 and has been part of the Fiat empire since 1986, will also be taking pride of place at this year’s Goodwood Festival of Speed in July, providing the traditional automotive sculpture outside Goodwood House. It plans to bring a host of vehicles along, including many representing its impressive racing heritage – Alfa Romeo enjoyed sports car success in the 1920s and 30s at prestigious events such as Le Mans, the Mille Miglia and the Targa Florio, and won the Formula One World Drivers’ Championship in 1950 and 1951 with Giuseppe Farina and Juan-Manuel Fangio respectively. The brand new Giulietta will also make its UK public debut at the event, which is sure to be a draw for Alfa enthusiasts across the country.

Because, as I said at the beginning, Alfa inspires fierce loyalty, even in the face of stiff opposition, because of its design flair, sportiness and elegance. An Alfa is a car with style and character, a car for the enthusiast who’s prepared to put in a bit of tender loving care every now and then. Just like a high-maintenance lover in fact.